You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
