girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Pants are for mortals
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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