I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
