I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
