I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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