Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
