Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
