you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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