I'm going to jail i love you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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