she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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