I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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