who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
