Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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