She's JV to your varsity
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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