also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
