I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
