Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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