I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
