I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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