I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize