Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
