Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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