i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I touched a dick in church today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
