Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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