Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
