I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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