This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
