I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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