I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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