Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What drink are we having for lunch?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Send help, water and tortillas.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
