i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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