Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
