did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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