He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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