Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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