very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
