No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
