Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
