I wish I could teleport
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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