Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
