I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
