i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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