no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
