Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
