I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
