You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We are all done wearing pants today
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
