HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
