Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
