Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
