Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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