You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
