oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
