and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
