Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
