She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
